Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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