Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
