Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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