in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
