The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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