What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
