I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
