My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
