Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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