so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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