:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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