Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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