God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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