Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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