Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
