I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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