We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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