I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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