If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
