what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
