Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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