Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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