I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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