This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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