You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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