Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
