who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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