I hate all girls vehemently.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
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Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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