I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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