Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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