her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize