So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
