I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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