too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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