first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize