Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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