she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize