Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize