Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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