Quick, to the slutcave!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
