I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
