So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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