I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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