First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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