Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
