I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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