with your own penis?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
