But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
