I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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