Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
