She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
