The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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