erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
