This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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