shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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