Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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