Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
